Gadgets That Turn You Into A Superhero You Can Buy Right Now

There's not anything practical about the Pyro Mini Fireshooter (or its larger namesake, the Pyro, which doesn't seem to be available for purchase), but if anything will distract an opponent long enough to regroup or escape, it's throwing a ball of fire with your bare hands.

The original Pyro became something of a viral sensation in 2014. Since then, Pyro's maker, Ellusionist, has increased the fireball's size while cutting the wrist-mounted device's size in half. The Pyro Mini can be recharged via USB, triggered by a remote that functions up to 30 feet away, and fire two shots before reloading.

The magic behind the device is flash paper, a product made from nitrocellulose, which is most well-known as a finish for guitars and as guncotton, a replacement for gunpowder. The device also ships with some flash cotton, a more volatile form of nitrocellulose. The stuff burns easily, quickly, and dramatically and has been a staple of illusionists for ages to add drama and misdirection to an act as needed. Who can put drama and misdirection to use better than a superhero looking for an upper hand?

Superheroes' uniforms often provide insight into the hero's character (and taste), and it matters. Frank Miller had Batman shot to get rid of the old yellow oval and fully seat his outfit in the pulp/noir persona of the Dark Knight (whose suit was, of course, full of gadgets). Iron Man was Tony Stark in a costume (and a fantastic one at that). It spoke effortlessly of steel and tech and maybe a touch of Ace Frehley. 

Of course, suitable outfits are not just for the heroes. Catwoman's uniform evolved into a tight leather body suit, accessorized with a whip and a big ring as a front zipper pull. It was a costume in need of a safe word. But what if your persona needs to say "strategic planning" and "profit maximization" while at the same time repelling projectiles?

Garrison Bespoke's nanotech bulletproof suits are functional and stylish. It's not altogether difficult to imagine a superhero or his alter ego: corporate raider by day, C-suite bad boy by night. The suits use carbon nanotubes, a long-hyped technology finally finding its way into real-world applications, including bullet-stopping. The fabric is thin, flexible, and half the weight of Kevlar. Couple that with a notch lapel, narrow sleeves to emphasize muscle, and a hand-rolled cap to broaden the shoulders. You'll look competent, experienced, and more than a little dangerous — no word on whether Garrison's suits are intended for superheroes or supervillains.

Speaking of Incrediboy, his jet boots might not be ready for retail, but flying seems worthwhile for a superhero. Jet packs have been around for a while and can at least keep you from resorting to an eFoil or Uber when you need to get across the river to confront your nemesis. Gravity's jet suits trade the Incrediboy boots for arm-mounted thrusters and the standard sci-fi backpack.

Gravity's branding already has a superhero feel, with the logo designed for a spacecraft's bow and the black leather suits. Gravity founder Richard Browning may very well have a cape in his closet. 

You'll only get 5-10 minutes of flight time and 55 mph out of this thing's 1050 horsepower, but do you want to go any faster than that if you get into an accident? These jet suits are a surprising combination of terrifying and dull to watch. Because all the action happens above the waist, one's legs tend to dangle, which isn't the most superheroic of physical postures. One suggestion — learn to Riverdance. You don't need fireballs to distract foes when jetting around with your legs dancing a jig. You might as well wear your bulletproof suit because if you can afford $450,000 for a Gravity jet suit, you can afford that, too.

It will do you no good to get into a duel with a villain at 10,000 feet unless you have the super strength or weaponry to win the fight. After all, if anyone is equipped to manage a battle without weapons, it's the Jedi. Whether or not you can reasonably call a Jedi a superhero, there can't be a downside to wielding a real lightsaber capable of cutting through a metal door (eventually).

The Hacksmith Mini-Saber is based on a prototype made by YouTuber James Hobson. Hobson's original saber was full-size and intimidating in every sense, particularly in the $40,000 sense of what Hobson spent making it. It burned propane at 4000 degrees and would cut through a steel door given enough time (and probably through your arm much faster). Indeed, it was beyond full size because it required an enormous backpack loaded with a steampunk array of tanks, gauges, and copper tubes. When it came time to produce a product within reach of consumers and the limits of liability insurance, Hobson built the Hacksmith Mini-Saber, a butane-powered torch with a 4-6-inch flame.

Today's production model functions more like a grill lighter than a weapon. You certainly don't want to whip it out when overmatched, lest you look like Malcolm Reynolds bringing a dagger to a swordfight in Serenity. But there are other ways to use weapons, and while we won't suggest any, you can probably imagine a few. And, anyway, even super-grills need to be lit.

A lot of superhero tech seems to be about getting places that are usually inconvenient, such as a balcony where a hostage is held against their will or a high Lowe's shelf where a cordless tool is held against your will. That's where a good grappling gun comes in — and possibly a sturdy rolling carrying case because these things aren't small.

You might feel silly carrying around tons of equipment that makes you look like you've bought tactical exterminator gear, but always remember — function over form, except when the opposite is true. In this case, you'll benefit from the ability to scale Rouen Cathedral by launching a grappling hook to the top with what suddenly looks more like a backpack missile launcher than an anti-termite weapon. Atlas Devices, who serve everyone from special forces to telecom and utility linesmen, has an extensive range of products to get you up where the bad guys don't expect you to be.

Pro tip: don't scale Rouen Cathedral. You will go to jail, superhero or not.

OK, so you can't buy this one, but we had to have one DIY project in the mix, and who better to guide you through a good, ill-advised DIY project than YouTuber, "mental machine" maker, and punk rock aficionado Colin Furze? The trouble with Furze will be selecting a project to recreate from his tons of terrible ideas. A secret tunnel that took three years? Hoverbike? Weaponized screwtank watercraft? 100 horsepower bumper car? Furze has made more death traps than practical inventions. He gets away with it because the complexity and insanity of his builds make imitators unlikely.

Not so his Magneto upside-down shoes, which are comparatively simple, if no less dangerous than his other ideas. There's nothing more super or ill-advised than attempting to walk upside-down. Inevitable soft-tissue injuries aside, Furze's Magneto shoes are relatively safe, though walking doesn't seem practical. 

Furze's video speaks for itself: balance while stepping is impossible, and hydration is a no-go. So keep the upside-down excursions short in terms of both time and distance. The superhero value here is among the most potent weapons: unexpectedness. Where your presence is unexpected, you will not be discovered until you strike — your enemy on the head with the keys falling out of your pocket, that is.