When I’m soaping up in a nice relaxing bath, the one thing missing is a good slasher horror movie – Texas Chainsaw Massacre, perhaps, or Trouserless Zombies Do Manhattan. Obviously I know better than to drag the TV into the bathroom; after the first few shocks I learnt my lesson, and I’ve almost got all the feeling in my fingers back. Di Vapor thankfully have a better way of my getting my foamy flicks – the Cosmo Hydromassage Whirlpool Bathtub. It not only has a range of adjustable air massage jets to frot at my underwater bits, it has an 8.5-inch LCD screen that can show anything from terrestrial TV through cable to your CCTV feed.
Apparently Di Vapor decided to build the Cosmo after having requests for a one-person version of a previous TV-boasting tub that seated two. I guess this not only saves water, but also doesn’t upset people who bathe on their own. The Cosmo has seven big jets, nine bubble jets and six – read it and weep – six back jets. There’s also a padded head-rest for your lovely head, and a hand-held shower to hose down your legs because, let’s face it, they deserve extra attention.
The Cosmo costs £2,995 ($5,677) and is available now.