Kanye West "YEEZY BOOST" sneakers released in technical video

If you though a pair of sneakers could never warrant a nationwide live video event hosted by an international pop star, you were wrong. Kanye West has just run an event just like that – with live feeds being sent to theaters in several cities across the United States. And the subject matter – they're not embedded with Bluetooth, nor are they able to check your steps. They are, on the other hand, designed by and endorsed by Kanye West himself. For many consumers, that's more than enough reason to want a pair or two or three.

The first thing you're about to see are the shoes. This is a video produced by Adidas to give you some idea of what the shoes are made of. Inside you'll find "full-length internal boost" – aka some bouncy material inside the sole of the shoe. Up above your toe, there'll be a bit of perforated vamp – that means holes by your toes.

So don't spill your drink on these sneakers or you'll get a sock wet and a cold toe.

Atop the vamp you're getting a "dynamic strap". This strap allows you to tighten or loosen the hold the shoes have above your toes. Style and flavor included.

The bulk of this shoe is created with suede, or "high quality" suede as Adidas suggests. Adidas also suggests that these shoes are made with "minimized construction."

They're simplistic.

Next you're going to see a very strange video presented in theaters across the nation. This video is cut down to a square shape because someone recorded it in a bootleg fashion.

This song may well be called "Wolves." As illustrator Dylan Lathrop says, "Kanye's version of Hunger Games looks way more interesting IMO."

When are these shoes going to "drop"? Probably soon. Maybe not. I don't know – go call your mother up and ask her. She probably already has a pair like hot fire crushing your cred cold cheap guns for hire. Or whatever.