$300 SpySub

For at least twenty minutes now my lifelong dream has been to pilot a tiny submarine through the subterranean water-filled tunnels beneath London and launch secret torpedo attacks up the toilets of those who offend me. I'd tell you my current target Top 10, but then I'd have to hunt you down and fire rockets through your U-bend.Anyway, my dream gets one step closer to reality today with the plucky Milwaukee inventiveness of father & son team Jason & Trevor Rollette. While most parents are, at best, trying to blackmail their kids away from the Playstation and into the little-league team, Trevor and his dad are out exploring the nearby lakes with their homemade SpySub.

Fashioned from PVC piping and relying on bilge pumps for propulsion and steering, remote control is all done via an ethernet cable that allows for a quarter-mile range and 250 foot dives. A camera and twin lights would let me get a good before & after shot of erupting celebrity rump, which I could sell to Rupert Murdoch for more than a little Pimms money.

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