Recently at E3 a game was announced called Fat Princess as an upcoming PSN title. It apparently has a Zelda type feel and is basically a capture the flag type game. Only instead of flags there is a princess. The princess is then fattened up by the opposing team feeding her, making it difficult for the team to save their own princess. A seemingly harmless game, however, there are a few feminists that seem to be a bit pissed off.
Now I would like to start by saying that being female and with the mindset I have, I have always had a lot of respect for most feminists. However, people like this are the reason when I say that, that I end up having to defend feminists. Mostly having to swear that not all of them are pissed off irrational women out to get any man that looks their way.
These particular women are angry because saving a fat princess is obviously a direct attack to overweight women around the world. Wait, what? They are trying to save their princess despite whether or not she’s fat, the issue is she’s just heavy. It causes an in game struggle, saving a skinny princess who can just casually get up and walk away would be too easy. Wait though, the blog Feminist Gamers has a solution!
Instead of running out into the forest to find cake to fatten up the princess with, why not go out and find gold (which is a lot heavier than cake) to stuff into a treasure chest. The more gold in the chest, the heavier it would be, and the harder it would be to carry.
Oh, but that’s not as “cute” as cake and fat chicks. Right.
So how about layering, Karamari-style, a bunch of random shit on top of the chest, like shrubbery, rocks, bison, etc, that would also weight it down. That could be cute, and silly, and not reinforce nasty stereotypes about women and the obese.
I’m sorry what? What stereotypes does it reinforce?! That cake has calories and too much of it makes you gain weight? Yes, you’re right, that’s truly appalling. Do you know why they can’t just weigh her down with stuff? Because when you move a dresser, what’s the first thing you do? You don’t just pick it up with everything in it. No, you unload the things that can be unloaded to make it as easy as possible. Things tossed onto her chest could easily be shoved off. Actually, I’m feeling offended, I think that you have something against skinny girls. Obviously, you would like to crush them under a “shrubbery”. Alright, but let’s be fair though, another feminist blogger has a few more thoughts on the game.
—but the only thing I can’t figure out is why anyone would want to rescue a fat princess in the first place, since everyone knows that fat girls are unlovable human garbage at whom any sensible bloke would sooner hurl invective than cast a longing glance.
I sure hope there’s a clever dénouement like the Fat Princess magically becoming thin once she’s rescued! ‘Cuz that would rock, yo!
Anyway, congrats on your awesome new game, Sony. I’m positively thrilled to see such unyielding dedication to creating a new generation of fat-hating, heteronormative assholes. It’s not often I have the opportunity to congratulate a cutting-edge tech company on such splendiferous retrofuck jackholery. Way to go! The Fat Princess of Shakes Manor salutes you.
You get points for originality on your swearing, congratulations, you get a gold sticker. She joined that comment with a picture of her flipping the camera off, in case you were curious what that salute looked like. I’m not going to take the easy cheap shot and tell you to go on a diet or what many other people have stated. However, if this were Save the Fat Prince would it be an issue?
So we can’t have an overweight princess, I’m sure a little twiggy princess would have you off on a rant that all games just went for the stereotypical cute skinny girls. What’s left then? I’ll tell you what, you keep pissing and moaning and maybe it’d make you feel better if there were no women in games. Right, that’d piss you off too wouldn’t it? The art director for this game emailed in wondering if it helped that the concept artist was a girl. Wait no, I bet she was skinny and hates all obese women or she’s just a traitor to her own kind. It couldn’t possibly be that it’s just an innocent game and you women are just looking for the latest and greatest thing to bitch about.
On a side note I would like to point out that not all female gamers are complete jerks, just like not all male gamers are sexist pigs. Both sexes have their obnoxious types when it comes to gaming. Please don’t let these two geniuses make you look at female gamers any different than before.