PSA: Don't bite iPhone batteries (this video shows why)

A man bit a smartphone battery in an electronics store in China this past week, and the battery exploded. The man who bit the battery seemed surprised by the results of his bite. The woman standing near him seemed displeased. Have a peek at the video and see what you make of it. And please do NOT go get a battery to reenact the situation in the video as it's happening – that'd be bad.

The video of this event was recorded in China on the 19th of January, 2018. This is not a video of a man biting a battery back at the advent of removable smartphone batteries a decade ago. This video does not feature three toddlers stacked up on top of one another in a trench coat in order to bite a battery.

This is a grown man biting a smartphone battery in January of 2018. This man bit this battery willingly, with his teeth. It's obvious that he pierced the outer lining of the battery, which of course resulted in the batteries insides combusting.

The battery in this video was apparently for an iPhone, but it just as easily could have been for any Android device – or any other smartphone or feature phone, for that matter. They're all made of the same stuff, for the most part. Please do not bite a battery – any battery at all. Don't eat a battery, and don't stab a battery. Batteries of almost every single kind contain extremely harmful chemicals that no human should come in contact with.

Please, tell your children. Tell your kids, tell your wife, and tell your husband. Batteries are not nice to those who do not take them seriously. Do not bite a battery, do not stab a battery, and do not attempt to take a battery apart. They will explode. They will most certainly explode, every single time.

Do not bite or stab a car battery, either. You may have heard of battery acid. You do not want to get battery acid on you or near you. This is not a joke, and it's not a Tide Pod.

If nothing else permeates the brain sack of the child you're speaking with today, let it be this that does: A person could and probably will die if they mess around with batteries, and nobody will be to blame except for the person doing the stomping, the stabbing, or the chomping. Thank you, stay safe, and stay away from battery biters.