For $39.95 these iPod DJ
breasts Mixing Decks will add a variety of craptastic "digital mixing effects" to any music you pump through it - obviously they'd prefer you to use your iPod, but since other music sources do exist I guess you can route them through what is, I imagine, a perfectly standard 3.5mm stereo jack too. Then, you budding FatTong Tiestos, you'll be able to rub and scratch the discs to play up to six (read it and weep, Technics) backing rhythms and fill-in sounds, three drum-fills and three voice effects.
Independent source and effect volume controls let you minimise your wretched efforts at creativity to a bare whisper, while Hammacher Schlemmer (oh yes, you knew it) also highlight that it's Mac and PC compatible via the "appropriate audio connector"... surely not another stereo cable going to your computer's microphone input?
It runs on 4 AA batteries and hopefully drains them so quickly that you'll only get a few minutes of annoyance.