Tesla reinforces Model S fire safety (again) with triple underbody shield

In a move that appears to be to reinforce an already extremely safe vehicle in light of massive media coverage that suggests otherwise, Tesla is adding a free-of-charge element to their Model S. This "triple underbody shield" will, as they say, reduce the risk of a severe underbody impact to virtually zero.

This shield will be attached to all Tesla Model S vehicles starting on March 6th. All Model S owners that wish to have this new shield attached will be able to do so – completely free of charge – during their regularly scheduled service or at any time upon request. This should feed quite well into Chariman Elon Musk's vision for making the car repair industry disappear – making repair and upkeep part of the cost of the car in the first place, that is.

The reason this shield is coming into play is the appearance of 2 "extremely unusual" Model S collisions in 2013 with underbody damage leading to car fires. As stated by Musk himself:

"These incidents, unfortunately, received more national headlines than the other 200,000 gasoline car fires that happened last year in North America alone. In both cases, the occupants walked away unharmed, thanks to the car's safety features. The onboard computer warned the occupants to exit the vehicles, which they did well before any fire was noticeable.

However, even if the occupants had remained in the vehicle and the fire department had not arrived, they would still have been safely protected by the steel and ceramic firewall between the battery pack and the passenger compartment." – Tesla Chairman Elon Musk

The newly reinforced shields include a rounded, hollow aluminum bar and a titanium plate. With this reinforced shield in place, essentially anything your Model S runs over will either be crushed or ejected safely – now you'll only have to worry about accidentally running over your priceless set of Faberge eggs.