Apple kills iPod nano and shuffle

Both the iPod touch models left in this backwards, messed-up world have been given boosts to storage while the classic iPod nano and iPod shuffle have been discontinued. It's like Apple didn't even care about the people who were putting off buying an iPod shuffle for the past several years - it's as if they didn't even think of me! Meanwhile those users that wanted an iPod nano will have to buy one like a neanderthal, finding them on eBay or wherever the deepest, darkest, dankest resellers now dwell.