I used to work with a woman that was weird. She had an unnatural fear of balloons and always brought her own straws to work. Apparently, she didn’t trust the balloons to not pop on her randomly and getting a straw out of a box was gross. What that woman needs is this titanium drinking straw. You can cram it into just about anything you want to drink from oranges to milk cartons.
I bet you can get it through one of those randomly super tight drink lids that make plastic straws explode too. The cool part is that you can wash the straw so you always know no one has had it in their nose and then put it back in the box. I think this would be perfect for vampires with a little modding.
Sharpen the straw to a point and you could be drinking blood neater in a jiffy. If you want one of these straws, you can pick it up at ThinkGeek for $15. That is a lot of loot for a straw, but they are made from titanium and don’t get hot or cold. The downside is if you miss your straw while talking to someone and it goes up your nose, you might puncture your brain.