No habla espanol? Then you've come to the right place for a good old fashioned AMERICAN tablet ad. Actually, it's the same Xoom ad that popped up yesterday in Spanish. Since this is now an English-language ad, the narrator sounds vaguely constipated and the tiniest bit furious. Both ads feature a well-dressed male model who bears absolutely no resemblance to anyone you are likely to find playing on a tablet computer on a pier in the middle of the night.