SlashGear

I had an unusual childhood.  My parents, while not particularly bothered by religious blasphemy or foul language, couldn’t stand Wyclef Jean.  Any mention of him at the dinner-table and I’d go without food; any cuss-talk after spilling some milk – “oh for Wyclef’s sake!” – would be punished with a stern lecture and an even sterner time-out in the chimney.  Obviously we weren’t allowed to listen to the Fugees; until recently I thought Lauren Hill was a brand of white wine.  If only they’d had access to the SafeMusic software, my difficult adolescence could have gone a whole lot differently.

SafeMusic takes perfectly normal audio files and, by virtue of a constantly updating database of music-based profanity, performs on-the-fly censorship of naughty words.  Parents can choose for themselves to what degree of excision is enacted, further trimming music via the programme’s interface, then uploading those cuts so that other families need not be offended by them.

Of course, I’m a grown-up now and away from the anti-Jean dictatorship of my childhood.  Still, whenever I see his grinning face on the television, or hear him protect the innocent reputation of a pole-dancer, I’m reminded of a time when it was Notorious B.I.G. or nothing.

Safe Music [via Ubergizmo]