Back in the eighties, my aunt & uncle had a Teasmade on their bedside table. I, being a young and impressionable sort, thought it was the height of high-technology - imagine, a fresh cup of tea newly brewed for when you wake! - and despite not even liking tea was desperate for one of my own.
Had I known Matty Salin back then, perhaps I would've been less ready to sell my soul for a water-boiling alarm clock. His Wake'n'Bacon, with its ability to freshly grill a rasher or two by the time you're due to rise, blows the Goblin out the water.
Looking a little like a bread-bin that has been decorated as a pig, the Wake'n'Bacon apparently took five days to make and cost Matty $90. Two 100-watt halogen bulbs inside the box do the hard work, taking about ten minutes to finish the bacon off.
He'll make you one, if you ask really nicely, but I imagine that it'll cost you more than $90.