No. Absolutely not. Anyone who says Facebook will be shutting down any time soon (or ever, for the rest of history and time,) is doing so because they’re misinformed or just for the hype of it.* This utterly false rumor is spreading through these internets like wildfire, catching sway apparently on Twitter and of course Facebook quickly. Would you like to know the source of this rumor? I bet you do. You’re gonna love it. Hint: it involves Bat Boy!
The internet is flipping out over the rumor that Facebook will be done and over starting March 15th, 2011. This story has gone so far as to reach Huffington Post, a sensationalist periodical in their own right. What everyone who didn’t take the time to do a quick search of the term “Facebook Shutting Down” and click a couple times haven’t realized is that the source of the rumor is none other than the OG of fake-news hype, Weekly World News.
This newspaper, now supposedly defunct (but their blog seems to be running just fine?) has been creating fake news since waaay before the Onion was ever conceived of. Images of drug dealers being sawed in half, young adults moving into nursing homes, Bat Boy making such an impact on the world as to be worthy of an off-Broadway play – wacky!
*But wait, Chris Burns, editor for SlashGear – isn’t the post I’m reading right this second all about hype as well? No. Dispelling a rumor isn’t the same as burning a fat one before breaking out the keyboard to create and speed up rumors that have no basis in reality. If this post gets hits, it’s because people are curious about the real truth in the matter, and they’ve found their way here, to the truth mill.
Take a peek at the original text of the WWN post that started a furious lol-fest:
PALO ALTO, CA –Mark Zuckerberg announced that Facebook will be shut down in March. Managing the site has become too stressful.
“Facebook has gotten out of control,” said Zuckerberg in a press conference outside his Palo Alto office, “and the stress of managing this company has ruined my life. I need to put an end to all the madness.”
Zuckerberg went on to explain that starting March 15th, users will no longer be able to access their Facebook accounts.
“After March 15th the whole website shuts down,” said Avrat Humarthi, Vice President of Technical Affairs at Facebook. “So if you ever want to see your pictures again, I recommend you take them off the internet. You won’t be able to get them back once Facebook goes out of business.”
Zuckerberg said that the decision to shut down Facebook was difficult, but that he does not think people will be upset.
“I personally don’t think it’s a big deal,” he said in a private phone interview. “And to be honest, I think it’s for the better. Without Facebook, people will have to go outside and make real friends. That’s always a good thing.”
“I don’t care about the money,” said Zuckerberg. “I just want my old life back.”
The Facebook Corporation suggests that users remove all of their personal information from the website before March 15th. After that date, all photos, notes, links, and videos will be permanently erased.
Well played, WWN, well played. Not that you (JB Smitts, the author of the article) had any idea that it’d be taken seriously since your whole brand is severely obviously false and comedic in nature. Well played anyway.
[Via Weekly World News]