By: solomon_rex

solomon_rex — Sun, 03 Jun 2012 22:42:00 +0000

Head of Zynga: “Hello, Joshua, could you come in now, please?”
Josh: “ok, what did you want to talk about?”
“Well, Josh, there’s this new stuff in your Farmville upgrade..”
“Yes?”
“Well, I’m not positive that we want to take the Farmville brand in this direction just yet.”
“What do you mean? I’m trying to push the envelope a little, get people out of their comfort zones. I think our audience is ready, Farmville’s getting kind of old, you know?”
“Well, Josh, we love new gameplay ideas and of course the monetization, but we don’t feel the Farmville brand is ready for genocidal pvp action and storylines.”
“I admit it isn’t the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the ‘farmville’ name, but once I added the chainsaws I thought it was a natural fit. I mean, they’re already in the game, might as well use them”
“I think our audience might be more open to using chainsaws … to cut trees down. Just trees.”
“Yes, but it’s just a jumping off point, you know? Get them started on trees, then they’ve learned the mechanism of cutting things down, then, boom! Jason on the farm!”
“Well, Josh, again, while the proposal is very interesting, I’m not positive this is the best fit for the Farmville universe.”
“Did you see hatfields and mccoys? There you go!”
“Yeah, no. Sorry. Look, I know you were at Epic a long time and you’re still adjusting, so here’s a stack of books with agrarian themes, Animal Farm, the Grapes of Wrath, that sort of thing. Why don’t you read these for a while and come back to farmville when you think you’ve mastered the genre, ok?”
“Um, sure, I guess.”
“Think cute and pastoral, got it?”
“Got it. You’re going to keep the chainsaws, right?”
“No, just forget the chainsaws, Josh.”
“Fine, thanks, yeah, I’ll come back when I get through these.” ~sigh~

Comments on: Gears of War writer decides to work for Zynga instead

By: solomon_rex