So there’s a new Duke Nukem game coming out. Well, a new trilogy of games to be precise. If you value your brain cell in the least, and don’t want to lose four minutes of your life I beg of you not to hit the jump and watch the trailer. However, if you’re already half brain-dead and/or have absolutely nothing better to do for the next few minutes, then be my guest.
This is seriously the worst piece of shit trailer I’ve ever seen. If you’d like to make your own shitty Duke Nukem trailer, follow the simple steps below.
First, you’re going to need to gather some images:
- Radioactive sign
- Duke Nukem logo
- Chain Reaction*
- Proving Ground*
- Critical Mass*
- Cheesy 2D scrolling pictures of the Duke
- People in gas masks
*You’ll need to take these words and use some cool fonts, then tuck them under the DN logo.
Now take these images and import them into your copy of Windows Media Player (because you don’t know how to run anything better). Now keep mixing up these items in no particular order (flashing them quickly on the screen adds a great effect) until you have around four minutes of video. Add in some generic metal music and audio clips from the original Duke Nukem titles and you’re all finished. If you really want to wow your audience, take the last few seconds to zoom in on your 2D picture of the Duke so that you have a nice crotch shot. People love crotch shots.