Audio-Technica 'Headphones for Ladies'

As everybody knows, a woman's ears will blister and burn if exposed to headphones not purposefully designed for them.  So thank goodness for Audio-Technica's new headphone ranges "created especially for women", five sets of wired on-ear and in-ear models that will make feminists punch the air in delight.  As Crystal Griffith, Audio-Technica's Consumer Marketing Manager gushes, "They combine attractive design with outstanding sound quality, portability and value, and come in a variety of appealing colors to match any style or stand out in the crowd."  Blimey.

The ranges break down as follows:

  • ATH-CK1W (MSRP: $49.99): in-ear headphones available in green, orange, pink, purple, white and yellow, all with matching "decorative" metal carrying cases and three interchangeable eartips to provide superior comfort for your delicate lady-ears.
  • ATH-ES3W (MSRP: $79.99) on-ear headphones available in four metallic finishes: blue, green, pink and silver. Cushioned earpads and soft headband, with folding ear-cups so as to slip like a narrow sanitary towel into your clutch-bag.
  • ATH-ON3W (MSRP: $59.99) on-ear headphones with a slim, ultralight design in dark gray, pink, teal blue and white.  Fold-flat design leaves plenty of room in your purse for lipstick and puppies.
  • ATH-CK6W (MSRP: $79.99) in-ear headphones "designed to fit any woman's style", in metallic silver, blue, green and pink. Three interchangeable loop support pieces to disguise the shameful fact that one ear is bigger than the other after a boarding-school hockey accident.
  • ATH-CK52W (MSRP: $59.99) in-ear model with a color choice of blue, black and white, for "total comfort and convenience" like a fresh portaloo at an open-air festival.
  • All come with cord-wraps and, quite possibly, patronizing in-box literature about how Audio-Technica are doing women a big favor rather than just trying to cash in on a demographic with nothing more imaginative than a few different colors.